JusJoJan – Jan 24 – Change

Today’s prompt comes from Wendy. It stems from Linda’s word challenge this month. It has been an enjoyable selection from many different bloggers.

 Today is a perfect day to talk about change. On this day in 1973, I became a mom. I was scared and exited at the same time. No one can ever explain the changes a baby will make in your life. I was young and naive and ready to face the new challenges.

I no longer was able to sleep or eat when I was hungry. Instead my needs became secondary to my child. I was grateful for the gift from G-d.  Birthday’s came and changed my baby into a toddler, a child, a teen, a college student, an adult, a coworker, a teacher, and a mom herself.

I have lived through her changes with love in my heart. I was thinking today about my mother’s reaction to the birth of my first born. She was excited and couldn’t focus on her job. I can understand her angst about a young wife and mother taking on the responsibility of a newborn. But she was overjoyed with this new addition to our family.

When my first born gave birth to her baby I drove the 8 hours to be there for her. I was with her until they wheeled her into surgery for an emergency C section. I actually saw her baby before she did. This was my fourth grandchild and each baby added to our family brought such joy along with many changes.  

My baby is 47 today. She lives her life on her terms. She is raising her child in a world very different from the one I raised her in. Many of the changes have been good ones, but realistically not all.

I have to wonder what it will be like when I am a great grandma. How many changes will take place between now and then?

 

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The First Day of 2020

2019 was a very difficult year. I traveled through uncharted territory. I sometimes felt like I was walking through an area littered with land mines. I fought to maintain control over whatever I could. I faced unexpected financial difficulties, unexpected physical difficulties, and unexpected emotional difficulties.

I also had successes I am grateful for. I managed to complete all my retirement requirements. I am grateful for a career I loved. I am grateful for all the wisdom I earned while working. I am grateful for all the connections I made.

I managed to achieve remission of my IC and I hope to maintain that for as long as possible. I drastically changed my diet.  I took the necessary medications to relieve pain. I used alternative treatments to help me reach a tolerable pain level.

I lived too long in sadness and fear. I managed to confront my emotional sadness.  I worked through many issues with a new understanding and new tools. I am grateful to be moving out of fear and in to hope.

I have much work to do this year. I need to keep focused on finding my joy.

I haven’t made resolutions in a very long time. But I do try to focus on things to make me happier. Last year was a year of difficult progress. I want this year to be one of seeking joy.

I am grateful that I have choices. I need to choose wisely with all the facts I have considered. Choices sometimes seem invisible.

I am grateful for all the support from friends that have given me strength to know that I deserve joy and happiness. Some wonderful women have gifted me with statements of my worth. I am grateful for their wisdom and love.

I am grateful for the learned ability to set boundaries with people I care about. I am learning that even if I love people I do not have to allow them to step on my toes.

I am grateful for the love I want to share with the good people I know.

I am grateful for knowing there is a process to achieve what I want. Sometimes the process means a great deal of work. Sometimes the process means sitting back and letting the universe take care of things. I am grateful for learning to accept the process.

I am grateful for the future that I have. I am grateful that while my eyes are weary and sore, they are open to possibilities. I won’t set any specific resolutions other than to continue to try to be happy.

Happy New Year

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