I don’t know why this line came to me but the song was in my head today. I am still experiencing a wonderful remission on two out of the three things my new normal has handed me. The third is reducing itself.
So why the title as a thought? I kept thinking today, can I take one more step? Can I push the line and do more things without causing stress? Can I take care of my physical body and still complete things that will make me happy? So I did what any red blooded list maker would do and made a mental list of all that I would like to get done.
I woke up early, about five AM, and felt totally rested. I have a nice long conversation with a friend I have missed. It was a great day to start my day. I played with Annie and did my morning activities. I read an email from a dear friend that brought joy to my heart.
I have been decluttering my home ever since I entered the road to recovery from PTSD. I keep finding things that could possibly send me spiraling to sadness. Instead I am looking at how far I have come and how much I have learned about choosing my reactions to events.
Today’s big chore was to clean my tiny master bedroom. All the drawers, all the medicines, all the nooks and crannies needed help. Sadly, three drawers were broken. One was totally missing its bottom. I went off to the hardware store to see if I could figure out a way to finally repair the mess. Once there, I saw a multitude of other things I just “had to have.” I bought plants for out front in my pots, I bought bulbs to enjoy next spring, I bought hardware to fix the drawers, and a few other sundry items.
I then went to the grocery store as my pain had not elevated past a three. I was taking one more step over the line. When I came home I worked out front on my pots and replanting succulents until I felt my arms getting a sunburn. I was so grateful to work on my garden doing something I hadn’t done in a few years.
It was back to my bathroom again. I worked at repairing the drawers first, then I cleaned everything. There were meds long outdated and items I can no longer use. I set aside some wonderful bubble bath that I can no longer use. Hopefully I can find someone to adopt my multiple bottles of vanilla scented bubble bath. I am highly allergic to scents and this was the only one that did not bother me. I asked a couple of people if they could use one or more bottles, but most I know also cannot tolerate fragrances.
This weekend I planned a surprise visit to my aunt. It will be the farthest I have traveled from home in four months. I believe I can do it. I believe my body will cooperate. As I was making dinner I received a text from my cousin. It seems my aunt was being evacuated from her assisted living because of the Saddleridge fire. They were taking the residents to a hotel 75 miles away where they would be safe.
For some this would be very stressful. For my soon to be 94 year old aunt, this is an adventure. She is looking forward to the dinner at the hotel, even though it is very late for her. So tomorrow is up in the air. We may be able to see her if the roads are clear and if she is up to visitors.
Tonight I was able to chat with friends and family. I am grateful that the people that know me, lift my spirits and rejoice with me when I share my truth. I am grateful for learning that people who try to hurt others should have no place in my tribe. I am grateful for my tribe.
My body is exhausted. I am grateful for the physical exhaustion of doing things I wanted to accomplish. I am grateful I am not exhausted from dealing with pain. I am grateful for the brighter days ahead. I am grateful for this day of greatly reduced pain. I am grateful that as I clear the clutter in my home I have more and more clarity in my head.
I took one step over the line again and again. BUT NOT THE WAY THE SONG MEANT! I listened to the video and was more than a little surprised about the true meaning of the song. I guess it shows that I don’t listen to country music often. I just like the line, one step over the line. I guess this was my Learn Something New Every Day item.