Dr. Tanya brings us the question, “What are 5 things you regret buying?”
I often get involved with a craft, and then don’t stay with it long enough.
1) I’ve purchased hundreds of wooden rubber stamps. I’ve only used a fraction of them. I got hooked on House Mouse stamps. As new ones came out, I made the drive to the special stamp store and bought it. I’ve used maybe 4 of them. They are very intricate to color once stamped. I decided they did not bring me joy.
2) I purchased tons of supplies for embossing. I made some terrific cards with my supplies. After about 20 or so, I lost interest. I still have all the supplies and no desire to use them.
3) I have purchased some costly shoes at The Good Feet Store. I knew they irritated my feet in the store and foolishly thought they would loosen up. They did not! I donated them.
4) I’ve made the mistake of occasionally purchasing a second copy of a book that looks interesting. I’ve come home to find the same book in my TBR stack. Luckily, this hasn’t happened too often.
5) I have some fabric stashed in my sewing room closet. Sometimes, when I look through my stash, I wonder what was I thinking. Sometimes, I’ve bought fabric for a specific project and changed my mind. I made three Hanukkah quilts a few years ago. I purchased backing material on sale. I still have leftover fabric. (about 15 to 20 yards) I’d sure like to find a place to donate the fabric.
When I am faced with deep sadness, fear, and anger, I look to those I respect for some guidance. Here are some sage words I’ve received in my email.
Martha Beck’s talk Sunday is here.
Supreme Court is sending us back to the dark ages — but Jews are organizing
Sammy Cox offers us a tight word count this week.
Brevity offers fewer opportunities to end with your foot in your mouth.
It is no secret that my bio-dad was not a good father figure. I missed out on all the father daughter relationship feelings. I was instead marginalized as “just a girl.” I found out he told his customers that he only had two kids, my brothers.
I visited my bio-dad once growing up. I was invited to travel alone, by train for eight hours, for a holiday. I was a very skinny sample size teen. His wife, at the time, took me shopping in the building for a wardrobe. I asked repeatedly if I would be spending time with B. I was told it would be much more fun shopping than hanging with him. That’s not how I felt, but I was unable to speak my truth at the time.
I always wondered what was wrong with me, that made me unlovable as a little girl, a teen, and an adult woman. He never knew me. He met my daughters once at at my niece and nephew’s bat and bar mitzvahs. He never met his only great-grandchildren. When bio-dad passed away last year, I felt no loss. Luckily, I had sought out therapy to heal my issues with his rejection. I can accept that the problem was him.
Father’s Day is something that has no special meaning for me. I had no real father. When my stepdad passed away (the only good one) many years ago, I knew I’d never celebrate a Father’s Day again.
Every blue moon I feel some sort of grief about what I never had.
The prompt poem from last week:
Family: work in progress.
Like tree branches arching, you will grow:
the forks you choose for each limb unknown
until you reach the intersecting valleys,
relying on gentle hands and histories.
Father’s journey: tapestry of mysteries;
Mother’s stories: secreted into galleries.
All life’s answers unneeded to go.
Love, dirt, and time; our truth will follow.
Family: work in progress.
Sarah’s prompt guidelines
12 lines or shorter; Includes a contrast in images or ideas.
My friends had a mom and dad
I had a mom, a bio-dad, and stepdad numbers 1 – 7
My friends had family vacations
I had some Sunday afternoon drives
My friends kids had the latest trendy outfits
I made my kids’ clothes
My friends flew their kids to vacations
I took my kids to parks and libraries
My friends acquiesced to their spouses policies
I made decisions for myself
My friends lived the lives they grew up with
I’ve lived a totally different experience
Written for the Skeptic’s Kaddish W3-7.