This morning’s meditation started taking me down a path I wasn’t prepared to travel. I, of course, tried to travel in the direction I wanted to go. I kept retracing my steps to a place I wasn’t comfortable going. I chose to get up and begin my day outside. Yesterday I had a comforting meditation about dealing with childhood issues with bio-dad. His actions do not deserve forgiveness. I am learning to let go of my anger for that is what is hurting me.
I spent the morning cleaning outside before Z3 got up. He was anxious to get in some time playing board games before his dad picked him up. I fed him breakfast, finished his laundry, and packed up his things to go home. We were playing sequence when his mom texted and said we only had 10 minutes. He was sad to be leaving but happy to be able to see his brother. I was sad to end my summer grand-kid time. I was honestly very tired, but it was well worth it. I am grateful for the Nana/Z time.
My spouse left for the day and I was alone in a quiet house. I tried to get some sleep but that never happened. I then started working on my huge pile of paperwork that needed dealing with. I made a small dent in the pile and then it was an afternoon/evening making contact with friends and family.
I am grateful for my communicating with my cousin, my aunt, my friend, my coach, my daughter, my other aunt, and another friend. The women in my life give me strength and hope and love. I am forever grateful for all of them.
Z3 usually wakes after I’ve been up for awhile. It means I can get a few simple things done before it gets too hot. He as usual did not want to eat first thing and so we sat together while he watched a few cartoons. After he and my spouse had breakfast we went to do a few errands. One Z3 was looking forward to was to try and find a DVD of his choosing.
We went to Target and perused the entire store stalling for time. We did not want to get to lunch too early. There was nothing that appealed to Z3 so instead he picked out a LEGO car that struck his fancy. He was super excited to have an activity to complete with his grandpa. By the time we left Target to go for taco Tuesday the weather had peaked at over 103 degrees. It was absolutely miserable outside.
The humid hot weather must have effected everyone’s appetite because the place was not as packed as usual. We actually found a table after ordering and obviously no one was eating outside. Z3 was happy with his quesadilla and chips. He asked if his donut after could be taken home for later, which of course made sense.
We decided to head home after lunch and skip the rest of the errands. It was too hot to be getting in and out of the car. When we got home Z3 built his LEGO car with my spouse. I napped while they built the car. After a short nap I got up and played Sequence with Z3 while my spouse napped. Then Z3 and I went out and played in the kiddie pool. It was refreshing especially compared to the temperatures outside. As soon as we came in Z3 took a rinse off. He was recharged by the cool down and ready to play more board games. And so we did. 🙂 We have a routine of playing games until we are ready to drop.
After games, we had a cool dinner. There was no sense heating up the kitchen. Z3 was hungry once again and after dinner wanted an ice cream sandwich. We played more board games and then Z3 picked out a movie for us to watch. He chose STORKS. I didn’t remember seeing it before so it was a new experience for us all. We laughed out loud at many of the scenes. I am grateful for an easy routine day with Z3. He went off to bed and I came to write my blog. Despite the dramatic heat, we had a good day together. Perhaps tomorrow it will be a little cooler. One can only hope.
Today began with an especially difficult meditation. I was going over the feelings, drama, and trauma associated with my bio-dad. I am working trough my feelings and trying to heal my inner wise self. After the long meditation I wrote a letter to bio-dad remembering the most difficult infractions against my soul. I am not 100% sure where I want to go from here but feeling my feelings was a necessary step.
Z3 woke up after awhile and I discovered he is not an early morning eater. I was outside working on the shed roof when he came and joined me. He happily played with Annie and she was in heaven. Unfortunately, I accidentally scraped my foot on a paver and sliced my foot pretty bad. As Z3 was there I tried my best to stay composed. I wasn’t sure at first if I needed stitches. I hobbled in the house and washed off the injury and bandaged my foot. I took a couple of pain killers as I was no OK pain wise.
After a calming down time for myself I made breakfast for Z3. He loves scrambled eggs so it was an easy fix. I added a biscuit, watermelon, and strawberries to round out his meal. We played some Sequence while waiting for my spouse to wake up and get ready to go.
I dropped off another small cooler to my old classroom for the 8th grade science teacher. I also left brownies for the custodians. No reason why I can’t still be kind to them. After that errand we went to the thrift store in Brea. I found a frog to add to my gate out back. Then it was off to do some grocery shopping. Z3 happily picked out treats for his stay with us. After asking again what he likes to eat I purchased some items for dinner.
I saw a coupon for kids eating free at Soup Plantation and I know it is a favorite of his. I only occasionally enjoy going there so it was a special treat for both of us. He knew exactly what he wanted there and was fine with asking for help when he needed it. I admire his ability to take care of what he needs.
After lunch we had one more stop to complete. Z3 was anxious to return home. We unloaded the car and I knew I needed a nap. Z3 played board games with Grandpa while I took a short nap. Then he went out in the pool while Grandpa swung on the swing. After I woke we traded places. My spouse took a nap and I supervised Z3 in the pool. When he finished it was off to a shower and a snack.
We played multiple games of checkers and Sequence. Then Z3 played a desk top shuffle board game with my spouse. Z3 loves to play games and searched the guest room closet to see if there was anything new to him.
As requested I made spaghetti for dinner. Z3 likes plain marinara sauce but ours was filled with garlic and meat. He heartily ate a full bowl of spaghetti. Then of course he needed to get us each an ice cream sandwich. More board games ensued until movie time. Tonight’s selection was Marley and Me. It is such a tear-jerker.
I had conversations with friends and family before retiring for the night. Little man was exhausted and I expect he was asleep right after hitting the sack. I am so grateful for the visits with my grand-kids. I am grateful to get to see their personalities when they are alone away from their siblings. They are such great kids.
Today was an easy calm day. I awoke early to clean out the fridge and put everything in coolers and thermal bags. After placing everything in containers I reloaded them into the fridge so they would stay colder longer. We were stuck at home until delivery so we finished some chores and of course the S&P shelves. Z2 was so excited that she had finished them all. She wants her hair braided for her 13th birthday in two months. She will need more than the sum I am giving her toward it. I had no idea it was so costly. But I guess 5 or 6 hours of work needs good compensation.
The delivery men were later than they said they would be, but they were so courteous and careful it was no problem. They uninstalled my old microwave and reinstalled the new one. Sadly the new one is shorter than the previous one and now there is a two inch gap with no tile back splash. I shall have to figure out how to make it less unsightly. The fridge was so easy for them that you would have thought it was an apartment size. It is even larger than what we had before and so nice looking. After reloading it I know I will have to do some reorganization later.
We did a few things around the house and just took it easy today. My spouse goes in tomorrow for his scope and had to stay home for the yucky prep solutions. Z2 and I had pizza and loaded it with olives as we are the ones who love them.
Z2 and I went to Target and she picked out a movie. We watched the chick flick when we came home. Before watching the movie Annie demanded play time and Z2 was happy to oblige. I enjoyed the movie, even though I didn’t expect to. The premise was great. Z2 had her beloved sweet/salty popcorn during the movie. I also got some boxes prepped to be mailed tomorrow.
All in all in was a calm day. Z2 and I shared some mellow conversations about school next year and the hope that their new home comes to be as expected. She will be happy to be out of the apartment and back in a house again. I am grateful for this time with my only granddaughter. She is very special to me.
This morning began early as usual. I accomplished a few chores before the others woke up. K2 had worked on a few S&P shelves yesterday and wanted to continue today. We started however in the back yard. Z2 hosed off another of the outdoor rugs. My spouse and I rehung the outside decorations to the fence I painted yesterday. Then Z2 painted the top row of the block wall planter in the lower yard. It was a busy morning. After they finished I worked on painting and cleaning up. We had a simple breakfast as today was Taco Tuesday and everyone should be hungry to go to Taco Tuesday.
We all headed off to a pedicure. I still get a little catch when I get pedicures. It was a favorite thing to do with my mom. My mom started treating herself to pedicures once we had long conversations about accepting care for things we can’t do ourselves. Poor Z2 had an inflamed toenail. She admitted it had been hurting her for weeks. The manicurist was very careful with her. After finishing there we went off to Taco Tuesday. The place was packed as usual. Z2 was happy to be able to pick her own fillings. She ate as much as we did, or more. She wanted her Krispy Kreme to go. I told her I was happy that she didn’t overdo it.
After lunch we returned home and I opted for a quick nap. I had worked 2 1/2 hours before anyone else woke up. Z2 worked on the S&P shelves while I napped. I asked why and she said she was bored. When I woke, it was off to my acupuncture doctor. I haven’t been for a full appointment in forever. It felt amazing to be able to relax with needles and a tens unit pulsating in my body.
When I returned home, Z2 and I played beach Monopoly, aka Beachopoly. She stomped me. LOL She was having such a good time. Then she and I continued to work on my shelves. I am so grateful she wants to earn some money and I get help with my chores. We didn’t finish the last few. I am sure they will still be there tomorrow.
She finally was hungry and asked for dinner. We ate leftovers. We get our new fridge tomorrow and need to get rid of as much stuff as we can. While eating we talked about the retreat in the fall, the options for recreation, and food preferences. She was very intrigued by the idea of the float. We had such pleasant conversations again. I am grateful for this one kid at a time scenario. I am beyond exhausted now and I will be ever so grateful if a sleep for a few good hours this evening.