Practicing Gratitude – November 15

In my never-ending score card of decluttering attempts, I am calling today a win. I spent hours in the garage this morning.  I packed a box of new toys and gently used books to donate to a program my city is sponsoring. I filled three bags to take to the thrift store to donate. I boxed up treasures to send to my cousin. She will be getting three large buckets filled with items I know she will find a use for. Some are gifts for her for Hanukkah. I love sharing and knowing if some items don’t speak to her, she will find someone who can use them. I am also sending two quilts I made for the grandkids when they were little.

After sorting things out and purging, I have some empty space in my garage cabinets. I dropped off the bags to the thrift store and went in to peruse the goods inside. I can proudly say that I left with only two items. I bought some ribbon for a project I want to do, and I bought some shower hangers. I am grateful that I am still removing things from my home. “Less is more,” is still my internal mantra.

My shower doors in the guest bathroom are broken. One almost fell off, so it was removed by my spouse. The second sliding door sounds like a screeching tire when you move it. I need to put up a shower curtain so the shower can be used again. The shower hangers were a perfect find today. Hopefully I can get a handy man to come and install new doors.

I did some grocery shopping after the thrift store. I was able to find most of what I needed. I was also on the great hunt for a car adapter for my spouse. I never found what I wanted so I shall look at Amazon tomorrow. I am grateful for Amazon prime. There is not much you can’t find there. My spouse is addicted to purchasing CDs on Amazon. If we do not have a delivery for two days in a row, I think he goes into withdrawal.

My afternoon was filled with lots of nothing. A little laundry, a little tidying up, getting out the winter comforter, and a little playing with the dog, made for a nice day. A yummy dinner of steak, potatoes, and veggies rounded out my day. I am grateful for finding foods that don’t bother my IC. I am grateful that I am eating healthier. I am grateful that my pain levels are tolerable.

I look forward to more days of lots of nothing much to do. I am grateful for the days I have low pain levels. I am grateful for my warm house. I am grateful for allowing things to leave my house that don’t bring me joy.

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Day 254 – LSS Attitude of Gratitude – Blog/ Reality strikes – There is always something to be grateful for.

For a few specific reasons, yesterday was unusual. I received a text from my (former) school office that there were items for me to pick up. I was told from this dear woman that the last day the office would be open was Wednesday. Because I had lunch plans with former coworkers I was unable to make it to school. That alone seemed strange to me. Not to MY SCHOOL, just to the school. It was unusual for me to meet up with coworkers during the summer. One of my former core mates will still be there in August and I shall not. The other former core mate retired awhile ago and I felt like I was moving to the side where she existed. There was no sadness, no melancholy, nor feelings of remorse. Instead I was acutely aware that I was retired. I haven’t truly felt this thus far.

Another leap to feeling retired was the fact that I was on a roll sewing last night. I stayed up until past four this morning. I was happily tooling along knowing I did not have any commitments today. I was smiling as I worked with the knowledge that all my days are like this now.     

Along with the pleasant parts of yesterday came the drama of dealing with my homeowner’s insurance company. They were less than helpful. No they were downright annoying, rude, and disrespectful. I knew today I would have to find a resolution one way or another. The unusual thing was that while I was so frustrated and annoyed I did not let that take away from my joy of sewing later in the day.   

After a few hours sleep I contemplated what I needed and wanted to do today. As I get one thing done, more chores present themselves. The difference is that I know I have time to get things done on my own schedule. My list for today was short. 

I spent quite a long time this morning clearing out paperwork and tax information. I found a document I think might satisfy my insurance company’s insane requirement. So I set out to get that one disagreeable chore done. I went up to school to make a copy of the paper and to pick up my certificate.  I expected there to be no one around but instead I found the P and the AP working. I went to my box in the teacher’s workroom to see if my items were there. Much to my surprise I no longer had a box. My name was removed. I smiled at the knowledge that I would no longer have to go to the office to see what messages, schedules, or paperwork had to be dealt with. No more last minute schedule changes. No more  always be FLEXIBLE. I am grateful that my flexibility now is in my control.

I asked the P if she knew where my items were. I had a strange set of things to recover. I was looking for a broken watch, an accommodation from the state senator, and my classroom banner from last year. The items were located and I had a short conversation with the P. She reminded me that with all the time and energy and devotion I had given to the school, they were now going on without me. It was presented in an odd way. I smiled with the knowledge that for these 35 years I did what I loved. Now it is time to do what I want to do just for me. I love that. What’s not to be grateful for that?

I went off to do my store chores. I found the Bondo, the paint, the brushes, the sandpaper, as well as the food items next door. I bravely went to Costco. Much to my sheer delight even thought the parking lot was a nightmare the check out stands were empty. I was in and out in minutes. This must be how the other half lives. (The people who don’t have to go after work or on the weekend.)     

As soon as I got home I was going to call the insurance company to tell them about the document I found. I went online to get their number and hooray hurrah I found a message from them stating they are accepting the documentation I previously sent. I am grateful that I don’t have to search out another company, at least not today.   

I did some cooking for the next few meals. I settled in for a pleasant afternoon. I reflected  on what is my new time frame. I get to eat when I want to. No more bells determining my appetite. I get to relax when I want to. I have the time to so something or do nothing. Now that is a new concept. I am grateful for the hard work in my past that brought me to this time and place. For the first time in my life  I am really in charge. I love my new reality.

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Day 253 – LSS Attitude of Gratitude – Blog/ Almost all good – There is always something to be grateful for.

Another day of affirming that my goals are in reach. Meditation is becoming such a part of my day that I am almost afraid to not start with it each morning. It doesn’t hurt that my mornings are quiet and I have nothing that MUST be done each day. I have self imposed goals that are making me happy.   

When I take time to check my emails and Facebook I am presented with posts that support the journey I am on. It is good that the things I do have control over are aligned with what I want. 

Today was a successful day for the things I did have control over. I painted my porch and pillars. I finished cleaning my kitchen cabinets. I went to school and printed a document i needed. I had a wonderful leisurely lunch with two former coworkers.

Then I had an excruciating unsuccessful phone conversation with representatives from my homeowner’s insurance company. It ended with absolutely no resolution and no way to fix my problem. 

I had to do something for me, just to get my mind out of the sadness. So I decided to spend time in my sewing room. This gives me peace and allows my creative energy to flow. I am grateful that I have outlets that calm my spirit.   Time got away from me and I think I need to rest now. 

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Day 252 – LSS Attitude of Gratitude – Blog/ I am not my things – There is always something to be grateful for.

I took time this morning after meditation to experience the joy I felt in my two clean, clutter free rooms.  I am enjoying the process because it reminds me that I am not my clutter. I am not the overwhelming energy present when things are out of sinc. I am enjoying the process of ridding myself of anything that does not bring me joy. I am realizing that I should keep things that might be clutter to other people but bring joy to me. Clutter is just items with bad ju-ju. I took over twenty bags to the thrift store to donate. I did keep one box of soup cups. They weren’t ready to go. As I drove up, the attendant asked if he could help. I of course said yes. And I laughed in my head. if only I could help getting rid of bad memories as easily as I rid myself of household clutter. Come to think of it that was not easy at first. 

Of course my busy mind goes to negative memories in my life. I am not those things either. As I worked on cleaning kitchen cabinets,  I reviewed sad memories from my childhood. I kept repeating that I am not those things.  Much to my surprise I actually am starting to believe that. Even with all the drama I have seen and experienced my reality is who I am now.  Yes my experiences are a part of me. Yes they brought me to where I am today. But I am not that wounded child. I am acknowledging her and comforting her from where I am now. 

It is true what has been said in the clutter clearing group. As you remove negative energy from your surroundings you allow feelings to surface. The comments from the many members reinforce what I am dealing with. I believe I am on a great path. I start my day with meditation. It  replenishes my spirit. I then clean and purge my clutter. I am allowing my brain to clean and purge also. I am working on deciding how my memories are going to impact me from now on. I am grateful for where I am. I am grateful for the new story I am living. 

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Day 251 – LSS Attitude of Gratitude – Blog/ Manic Monday – There is always something to be grateful for.

This morning began early with a text, a phone call, and a Facebook PM. I didn’t get to sleep until after 2 so I wasn’t expecting to rise early today. No worries. It meant I could get going on my long list of things I wanted to accomplish.  I dressed in my painting clothes and headed out front. Much to my chagrin, it was raining. I guess I was so tired I didn’t even hear it last night.

Change of plans: I went back to my bookcase to continue on the chore I started earlier. I rearranged things in the dining room as well as the living room. It felt so good to change things up. Very little needed to be trashed. After too many hours, I had nine bags of books to donate to charity. One box to go to my niece and two for my cousin were also prepped. Then I made stacks of items from my gift cabinet that need to be mailed. I trashed more junk mail and made piles of items that need further inspection. I dusted and cleaned my bookcase shelves.

 Throughout all the purging and cleaning, I couldn’t help thinking that as my meditations are bringing mental clarity, my purging is bringing physical clarity. As I touched certain items, I thanked them for their usefulness. Others I bid farewell because they never brought me happiness. Two more bags were filled with various items found in my living areas. It felt like I was on the lookout for things to get rid of. I guess I was. I am working to move forward into less clutter. 

Two rooms took me most of the day to finish. I washed the floors and needed to sit down before I fell down. I was able to go through more paperwork and bills. I actually felt joyful having my rooms clean. I collapsed on the couch and had a wonderful three and a half hour phone conversation with my cousin. I felt no guilt for the foray into relaxation. 

I took a break and went outside to toss the ball to my dog. I rearranged a few wind chimes for better acoustics. I admired all my butterfly decorations. I now have a large butterfly on my back fence, three solar light butterflies in my sago palm pot, a hanging solar butterfly in my Eiffel Tower, and my purple butterfly wind chime. Being in my garden always brings me joy. 

I decided to start the kitchen cabinets. I was only able to do three upper shelves before I realized I was too beat to continue. My feet were screaming at me to stop. Sitting on my bed I was able to sort through a stack of books that have priority once I get more work done. I looked at the three piles of laundry that need to be folded and decided to call it quits for the night. I am trying to take advantage of these good days before they disappear. I have no idea when I wake up what shape my body will be in. I am grateful my house is feeling more joyful to me.

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