Understanding Grief – My Analogy

Everyone experiences grief in their own way. There is no clock to watch or calendar to check off the days to know when it will end. We are all experiencing grief as we deal with the impact of Covid on our lives. It can affect us in different ways and at different degrees. Given that we are in our third year of this Twilight Zone experience, it is no wonder that grief is taking over our emotional well-being.

If you add other life stressors to the Covid drama, grief can take over a calm lifestyle. In the past few years, I have suffered the loss of beloved family members, estranged relationships, broken hearts, the loss of a pet, changes in physical health, new life-altering illnesses, as well as relinquishing a dream. It’s no wonder why grief rears its ugly head in my life. I know I am not alone in the hard life experiences of today. I’ve worked hard to find gratitude daily. Most of the time, I do fairly well.

I have come up with an analogy to explain how grief works in my life. I visualize myself standing in shallow water where ocean waves are breaking. The waves are grief waiting to hit me. They are typically small waves, and I can support myself when they hit. Sometimes they are a little unexpected and come up behind me. I usually brace myself by digging my feet into the sand. I am not overwhelmed, but I do need to be careful to take care of myself. Occasionally, an unexpected giant wave surprises me and knocks me down. I struggle for air as I try to recover from the impact. It seems like I am out of control, not knowing if, or when, I will be OK.  

Last weekend a tidal wave hit me. It was an accumulation of all the above grief overwhelming me. My body was overcome with both physical and emotional pain. The universe provided me an opportunity to reach out and say I needed help. A generous dose of help was extended to me. I cried until I was out of tears to help with the emotional pain. I allowed myself to take some CBD for the physical pain.

I recounted my analogy to a friend on Thursday. She gave me a compliment about how I dealt with the latest experience. She was glad I had reached out for help when I realized I needed it. So, I have added to my story. If an overwhelming wave hits me and I can’t find my bearing, I will try and reach out for help.