JusJoJan – Jan 25 – Journal

#JusJoJan ~ 1/25/22 - featured image

Linda is our host for this month long blogging challenge. Thank you Scarlet for the prompt word today.

Your prompt for JusJoJan January 25th, 2022, is “journal.” Use the word “journal” any way you’d like. Enjoy!

I started journaling as a kid. I had the typical girly diary with the fairly worthless key. It was fun to write my daily events and feelings, as well as my dreams. Once I discovered my older brother was reading my diary and tormenting me with my own words, I stopped using the diary.

In high school I loved to buy a pretty new journal at the start of each school year. Vromens always had such wonderful choices. They were super expensive to me, but I’d save to get one that I liked. After I filled up the nice one, I would start journaling in spiral bound notebooks.

I wrote a great deal of poetry in high school. It soothed me when I was uber stressed. At one point, for reasons I can’t remember, my grandmother asked if I had written to bio-dad. I hadn’t of course. She asked me to write him a letter, telling him what was going on in my life. If you’ve read much of my blog, I’m sure you’ll remember that I’d do most anything for my paternal grandparents. I foolishly agreed to write him a letter. I told him about my good grades. I told him about my job at McD’s. I told him I was toast mistress for my speech class. I then ended my letter by copying a poem from my journal. The poem felt like a great description of my life.

What did I get in return? A letter saying that poetry and being a toast mistress were a waste of my time. He informed me that I should be spending my time with more important things. Instead of rejecting what this man (who I saw MAYBE once every two years) said, I tore all the pages out of journals and stopped writing all together. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I never told anyone about what he had said, especially not his mom.

Many years later I would purchase lovely journals and write random thoughts. I never wrote poetry again though. If I looked at what had journaled and didn’t like what I read, I would rip out the pages and throw them away.

I joined with some other women to go through some books that required journaling. We would only share what we wanted to. It was a fun way to get back into writing. Then I started working on the Artist’s Way book and workbook. There is a great deal of journaling there. The kids were grown and gone, so there were no reasons to not spend my time journaling.

Four years ago, when I started therapy for PTSD, my therapist recommended I keep a gratitude journal. I had already begun my mornings and ended my evenings stating things I was grateful for. I agreed to his request. I found a journal that was designed to make a list. I would write, then read aloud my list of gratitudes every evening. As I started my blogging journey, I decided to work for a year looking for things to be grateful for. It was very good for me. I shared my blog address with my doc. He had read a few and encouraged me to keep up with it.

While taking online classes, working with a life coach, and my therapist, I have kept journals for my thoughts. They are all over my home. I’d start in one journal, put it somewhere, and then start another. There is a method to my madness though. There was an amazing synchronicity between what different people were saying. I could use information from one place and fit it into a conversation with someone else.

I still love journals. I recently bought another copy of the Artist’s way. I want to start it once again. I just might need to scan Amazon for a lovely journal. I already have a plethora of pens to use.

 

12 thoughts on “JusJoJan – Jan 25 – Journal

  1. I am so glad that you’ve found your way back to writing and keeping journals. It can be such a process of discovery and healing, as well as so many other things. And writing in community has special meaning, too, I’m finding. I did the Artist’s Way again with my online book group recently and found it interesting to do again after a decade and in a very different place in my life.

    I’m sorry for that very traumatic experience with your bio dad. My heart hurts for the girl that you were.

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    1. Thanks Lisa. It’s been a couple of decades since doing the artist’s way. I like the idea of doing it with an online group.
      I truly don’t have a single good memory attached to bio dad. It was not a good relationship. The good news is that I survived without him in my life.

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  2. I think your Bio-Dad is/was hazardous waste. Good for you for rediscovering your writing voice, and yes, Julia Cameron’s books are terrific (I especially like the quotes around the page edges). She has a new one for oldsters like me, that has to do with rediscovering your purpose as you go to the elder phase of life.

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