Rory has some very deep and interesting questions on his 24 Hour Blog Question. Check out the reasoning about the questions. After reading the background, I gave a lot of thought about my own way of retrieving memories.
The Main Questions For you However are …
1) How do you remember moments in your life – what is your process for bringing your memories back to life? I don’t think I have ever tried to analyze how I remember things. I love Rory’s system, but that is way beyond my abilities. If I try to think about a memory, I think I just scan my brain to see if there is something there. I do think I have more traumatic memories that come up easily than pleasant ones.
2) Do you think the memories you have of your life from your yesterdays are an honest recollection – or do you think that they change with every re-telling? I don’t think they change much at all. The emotions that accompany them have become less frightening, but not the experiences in themselves.
3) In your opinion how deep is your long term memory? My long term memory is much better than my short term. With medical conditions as well as aging, I have what I call “sometimers.” I don’t forget all the short term memories but some of them, and it drives me crazy.
4) What are some of your very first memories? I remember vividly the time I was three and took an overdose of baby aspirin. My vocabulary memory from the time, is no doubt from what I have heard. But the feelings of fear, driving to the hospital, being taken from my mom, being strapped down on a table, having tubes shoved in my mouth and nose, are all mine.
I remember the next door neighbor kids laughing at bio-dad when he mowed the lawn in a suit. I didn’t understand why that was so funny. I was two or three.
I remember having a stuffed long eared bunny toy. I walked around inside the house dragging my bunny with me. I felt a sense of warmth from my bunny. He felt safe.
I remember when stepdad number one came in the house. He was a giant in my eyes. He was the kindest man in the world when not drinking. I remember when the police came because he was beating my mom. I remember trying to look like I was sleeping so no one would come take me away. I remember at that ripe old age of 4, deciding to never drink alcohol.
I remember as a very young kid, having memories of elaborate dreams of being taken to a safe place. They were recurring and I didn’t share them with anyone. Knowing now how chaotic my house was, I now understand why.
I remember at five going to kindergarten and loving the calm sweet teacher. I loved the structure and the way I felt safe. I also remember the washing machine in the classroom. I remember loving school. I remember trying to tackle a little boy to give him a kiss. I was egged on by the girls. I remember the nightmares I had thinking the washing machine would reach out and scoop me up. The teacher had told us all to stay away from the washing machine because it was dangerous.
I remember many times coming home to another stray animal that my mom had “adopted.” She was always rescuing some abandoned dog or cat. Years later, I called her out on attempting to save abandoned men too.
I remember my older brother annoying me daily. I have way too many memories of that. I remember Mrs. Bomb, my first grade teacher. I remember loving her dearly. I remember being called the teacher’s pet. I didn’t care. I wanted to do any class chores I could to make things easier for her. She never yelled or screamed at anyone. She was caring to all the kids.
I remember at 4 or 5 when my mom decorated our large front windows with scenes for Hanukkah. I have no idea who painted them, but they were glorious. I remember the pride I felt that ours was the only house with Hanukkah decorations.
I remember stepdad #2. He was not a nice man. I wondered often when he would leave. I felt like he was an unwanted intruder in the house. I remember stepdad number 3. He had an ex-wife that drove a red VW. Whenever we were out, we would holler red bug, red bug. I was too young at the time to realize he was hiding from her.