Rory has asked a very deep set of question for his 24 hour blog question.
Is Being Alive Really Better Than Being Dead? What do you think about this? Are there more reasons to be alive than there are to being dead? Also, how do you define your purpose to being alive or what gives you purpose?
So many thoughts on this topic. I am going to go with being alive is better than being dead provided there is some sense of comfort or joy. I do not have the belief of a place called heaven, nor a place called hell.
I do believe that there is some sort of continuum of spirituality. I have no proof of past lives, but I have had some experiences with past life thoughts and feelings.
I am of the opinion that anyone who has the true desire to be assisted with ending pain (in whatever way that manifests) should be able to do so. I was there when my mother was told of what was going on inside her body. She had already decided what her line in the sand would be. She courageously decided to sign a DNR and to end all treatments. She knew where she wanted to go for hospice care. I had the responsibility to make all the arrangements. When I got to the place I broke down and could not go in for quite awhile. She made her decision, and I felt it was right, but I was not ready to let go. It was one week from entry into the hospital to entry into hospice care.
A friend last week decided to be taken off all life support. Her cancer battle was long and hard. Cancer was everywhere and her pain was not being controlled even with a morphine pump she had control over. She talked with family and friends before making her decision. Those concerned were sad that she made the decision, but understood. She passed away two days later. In her case, like my mother’s, death was better than being alive.
I have had three experiences where I was not supposed to live. But I am still here. I have had out of body experience, but I do not seek death. I am not sure if it is the “not my time” syndrome or a guardian angel, or pure luck. It really doesn’t matter. But I do feel I am still here for some reason. Am I still here to be a parent and grandparent? Am I still here because someone needs me? Am I still here because my clock has not run down? I don’t know, nor am I sure if it matters.
For years, I had frequent panic attacks about dying. They were horrible and I feared death daily on some level. A few years ago while in therapy for PTSD, the topic of when I had first experienced panic attacks came up. I clearly remembered they started after I had my second child. I thought I had the attacks because I now was responsible for two wonderful living beings. What I discovered, was that the panic attacks started when my best friend passed away in a terrible car accident right after my daughter was born. After having the awareness, the panic attacks stopped.
For me, being alive is better than being dead because I have some choice as opposed to none. My body is flawed, it is in pain, and it has limitations. But, I have survived and I find joy when I can. I look for gratitude everyday because that in itself brings me joy.