This week’s roller coaster of emotions has been driving me mad. I am grateful for all the good experiences of the week. I am working through the bad experiences. I am devastated by the sad experiences.
I am grateful for the good things this week:
It finally rained this week. We are living through another drought. Last night it rained hard. I was overjoyed with the sound of real rain and not just a few drizzles.
I had a telemedical appointment which went well.
I had an acupuncture/chiropractic appointment which was terrific.
I did not feel the need to light my candles for hope the entire week.
I got my first vaccination shot to fight Covid. The wait time (beginning to end) was just over an hour in total.
I am writing along with the prompts on a deep level writing course.
I have been making new meals that bring me joy.
I have been trying to cope with the bad things that have me driving me away from my gratitudes:
My car has been dropping my connection with my phone. I will be using the phone for directions and in the middle of my drive the navigation drops. This scares me as I am directionally challenged.
Twice, when I started my car, the entire dash did not light up. I could drive, but I had no indicators anywhere. That scares me.
I just had to purchase four new tires and that was a big hit to my budget. I fear what this is going to cost.
My acid reflux is back with a vengeance. I am pretty sure I am having too much tomato sauce.
I started redoing a big project on my front yard and it is much more intensive than I thought. My body gives out before my mind wants to quit each day.
The colder weather is kicking my butt. My RA has my hands looking like claws each morning.
Yesterday, I received some incredibly sad news. I was devastated. My dear aunt who resides in a senior assisted living establishment was confirmed to have COVID. They have called in hospice for her. She is on oxygen. There are four residents and three staff members diagnosed with Covid this time. My heart aches with the reality that I will not see her again. When we spoke last week she was feeling ill and our conversation was shorter than usual.
My dear cousin asked if I could help by making a few calls for her. We spoke after the calls and shared our grief.
My go to, for dealing with sadness is to use up energy or to eat chocolate. I made dark chocolate brownies after my phone calls. I needed them. They are my aunt’s favorite dessert that I make. I sent her some for Hanukkah this year and she was so happy. I only ate three, but I wanted to eat the whole pan.
My aunt is the last of her generation on my paternal side. The depth of my sadness is palpable.
My hope is that if it is G-d’s time to have her transition, that she does so without pain and without fear.