Linda brings us the prompt for SoCS. This weeks prompt:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “list.” Make or talk about a list. Enjoy!
I have been melancholy for a few days without understanding why. I have making gift lists over and over again in my head. I have been trying to figure out what to get for my grandkids for Hanukkah. At first I thought my feelings came from not knowing what to get the teens. Then I thought it was my anxiety about going out in stores. Finally, I figured it out.
No matter what list I manifested , the thing I will be missing deeply is the lighting of the menorah candles. Ever since they were little kids they came to my house and lit candles. I can see the images in my mind and heart easily. My list of gifts doesn’t matter when I am losing the opportunity for the memory.
I phoned my daughter and asked if she would like a menorah. She said she would and that she would light the candles with the kids. My list took a quick change. I opened my Hanukkah boxes from the attic and looked to see if I had stored away any menorahs. Much to my delight I had three small identical menorahs. I also had a ton of candle sets for the entire eight days. I picked one of my menorahs to give to my daughter.
My list for each of the eight nights of gifts was easy to pull together. I wrapped everything and numbered the gifts. I put all the gifts for each recipient in a new pillow case specifically for them. They will know immediately whose is whose. There is a pink one, a robot one, and a dark grey one. I also wrapped a yummy family gift for each of the even numbered days.
My list is missing something for each of the kids on day 7. I have an idea for two of the kids, but I have no idea for the last one. Hanukkah is early this year. My goal is to finish tomorrow morning and take my Hanukkah in a box over to my daughter’s house. It will sadly be, a no contact visit.
I typically start my list for the next year right after the holiday. This has been abnormal in every way. I will not do after Christmas sales. I will not start shopping for next year. I am working on a new behavior of waiting to see what things look like before I stress myself out.