SoCS- List- Dec. 4/5

Linda brings us the prompt for SoCS. This weeks prompt:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “list.” Make or talk about a list. Enjoy!

 

 

 

I have been melancholy for a few days without understanding why.  I have making gift lists over and over again in my head. I have been trying to figure out what to get for my grandkids for Hanukkah. At first I thought my feelings came from not knowing what to get the teens. Then I thought it was my anxiety about going out in stores. Finally, I figured it out.

No matter what list I manifested , the thing I will be missing deeply is the lighting of the menorah candles. Ever since they were little kids they came to my house and lit candles. I can see the images in my mind and heart easily. My list of gifts doesn’t matter when I am losing the opportunity for the memory. 

I phoned my daughter and asked if she would like a menorah. She said she would and that she would light the candles with the kids. My list took a quick change. I opened my Hanukkah boxes from the attic and looked to see if I had stored away any menorahs. Much to my delight I had three small identical menorahs. I also had a ton of candle sets for the entire eight days. I picked one of my menorahs to give to my daughter. 

My list  for each of the eight nights of gifts was easy to pull together. I wrapped everything and numbered the gifts. I put all the gifts for each recipient in a new pillow case specifically for them. They will know immediately whose is whose. There is a pink one, a robot one, and a dark grey one. I also wrapped a yummy family gift for each of the even numbered days.

My list is missing something for each of the kids on day 7. I have an idea for two of the kids, but I have no idea for the last one. Hanukkah is early this year. My goal is to finish tomorrow morning and take my Hanukkah in a box over to my daughter’s house. It will sadly be, a no contact visit.

I typically start my list for the next year right after the holiday. This has been abnormal in every way. I will not do after Christmas sales. I will not start shopping for next year. I am working on a new behavior of waiting to see what things look like before I stress myself out.

10 thoughts on “SoCS- List- Dec. 4/5

  1. Many people experience that melancholia at this time of year. It sounds like perhaps you’ve found a good way to help combat it somewhat. Hold on tight to the notion that next year you can do personal visits just like in the past, and perhaps that will help a little bit. I know what you’re going through (to an extent), the best ‘cure’ (there isn’t one really) is to keep finding those little moments of light throughout the haze. It will get better!

    Liked by 1 person

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