The Carmel Crunch #24


From crushed Caramel

A workmate asks you if they can borrow some money from you (let’s say a week’s wages) from you until payday. They claim they will pay you back straight away. You do have the money they ask in your savings account, but you have been carefully putting a little money away for a long time in case of “a rainy day”.



My reality is that I was raised in poverty. There was no money to spare. My mom often worked 2 or 3 jobs to keep food on the table. She was a proud woman. As I began married life I was in the same situation. I was never able to lend money, but sometimes had to borrow funds. I was mortified by needing to borrow money. I never neglected to promptly pay back whatever I borrowed.

There have been a few times that someone needed to borrow money from me later in my life. I would lend money if I felt the need was real. I would not lend money to a friend or family member if I knew them not repaying would hurt our relationship.

I remember “loaning” money to a family member long ago, knowing in advance that they would never pay it back. At that time, I felt the need they had was more important than my recovering the funds. Another time I wanted to gift some money to another family member in need. The recipient wanted it to be a loan. I agreed because they wouldn’t take the needed money otherwise. When they repaid me by check, I just tore up the repayment check.

I have gifted family/friends needed money with the caveat that it is a gift and not a loan. I usually write those exact words in the memo section of a check.  

I cannot see a reason to lend a coworker a large sum of money. Luckily, I have never been in a situation where someone needed a large sum of money.

I worked hard for my money and I usually paid myself before spending frivolously. I try to remember to never loan money I can’t afford to not be repaid.

3 thoughts on “The Carmel Crunch #24

  1. So interesting to read your post! Thank you!!!

    When I was 18/19 I received my first tax rebate. I had been paying too much tax (before they give you a tax code you might be on basic rate tax which is about 25%) all year and now the Inland Revenue sent me a cheque for £1000. I was excited because I had never had so much money in my bank account before. Foolish me…in my excitement I told everyone I had been given this money back.
    Well…it was not long before people started asking me for personal loans. One friend who was ten years older than me and married asked for a loan. Although she did not make it clear at the time, the money she borrowed was used to buy gifts for family celebrations In the end I lent her £400 and as I thought it should be formal I drew up a contract detailing how it would be paid back and she and I signed it and had two people witness it. Anyway…when the first repayment was due she said she did not have the money and asked if I could be patient with her. I never saw a penny of that money return.

    I had learnt a lot about that. I learnt not to get excited and tell everyone when I did have some money in my bank account. I learnt that if people are asking for personal loans instead of seeking credit through a bank, it may be that they are unlikely to repay it, and I would have to accept that risk. I also learnt that there is a difference between giving or lending money to someone who cannot pay their rent or electricity bill and someone who wants the money to buy a Nintendo games system for their child.

    I remained friends with the woman I mentioned above, and I had to choose to let go of what had happened and not let it come between us.

    I have been asked since for loans by friends and workmates. As I have worked part-time for years and for five years as an international volunteer I did not receive any wages at all, I have rarely been in a position to fulfil those requests. But I have secretly gifted when I knew people who were in need. Secret envelopes with cash and an anonymous note to say they were deeply loved felt great.

    Liked by 1 person

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