The full quote is
“You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.” ~ Rolling Stones
Here I am moaning and groaning about not getting the retirement I worked for. I planned, I jumped hurdles, I dug my way out of problems, and I took care of finances the best I could. I retired with the knowledge that it was the right thing to do and the right time to do it. Then the interstitial cystitis hit and my life changed.
I wanted to stomp my feet and say no fair. I am got getting what I want. I wanted to scream ,”Why can’t I ever get what I want?”
What I really did was cry in fear of never being out of pain. I cried for the loss of my planned future. I cried because I didn’t and don’t understand why this, why me, why now?
I know in my heart it is not fair for any of the 847,000 adults who were identified with IC in 1994. To be diagnosed with illnesses that most have never heard about is frightening. To be told there is no cure is scary. To feel hopeless is devastating.
I finally accepted that I needed to reevaluate my plans. I needed to pick myself up and do what I could to aid in my steps toward remission. So I read, I researched, and felt my feelings.
I am learning to advocate for myself with insurance companies and doctors. I am following all the diet restrictions to the T. I am seeking joy in my life every day. The alternative is to be sad every day.
I don’t understand why this is my path but I have to keep moving forward. No amount of bargaining or sadness or anger will make this go away. I will hold on to hope that remission is in my future . I strive to join the success stories. I am grateful that even though I didn’t get what I want, I can still have some of what I need.
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