I took time this morning after meditation to experience the joy I felt in my two clean, clutter free rooms. I am enjoying the process because it reminds me that I am not my clutter. I am not the overwhelming energy present when things are out of sinc. I am enjoying the process of ridding myself of anything that does not bring me joy. I am realizing that I should keep things that might be clutter to other people but bring joy to me. Clutter is just items with bad ju-ju. I took over twenty bags to the thrift store to donate. I did keep one box of soup cups. They weren’t ready to go. As I drove up, the attendant asked if he could help. I of course said yes. And I laughed in my head. if only I could help getting rid of bad memories as easily as I rid myself of household clutter. Come to think of it that was not easy at first.
Of course my busy mind goes to negative memories in my life. I am not those things either. As I worked on cleaning kitchen cabinets, I reviewed sad memories from my childhood. I kept repeating that I am not those things. Much to my surprise I actually am starting to believe that. Even with all the drama I have seen and experienced my reality is who I am now. Yes my experiences are a part of me. Yes they brought me to where I am today. But I am not that wounded child. I am acknowledging her and comforting her from where I am now.
It is true what has been said in the clutter clearing group. As you remove negative energy from your surroundings you allow feelings to surface. The comments from the many members reinforce what I am dealing with. I believe I am on a great path. I start my day with meditation. It replenishes my spirit. I then clean and purge my clutter. I am allowing my brain to clean and purge also. I am working on deciding how my memories are going to impact me from now on. I am grateful for where I am. I am grateful for the new story I am living.