This week has been so exciting for my soul and harmful to my body. I yearn for living a life of 10. ONLY in the way that brings joy, new experiences, and peace. I abhor living in 10 when it comes to my pain level. This week I have been experiencing nines and tens in both ways.
I have had wonderful 10s because of the many adults and students who have reached out with hugs, kind words, cards, text messages, and well wishes. It has been joyfully overwhelming. I have experienced happy tears so many times recently. My heart is full. My mind is happy. My thoughts are repeatedly filled with glee. I know on this, my last day of teaching, I made the right decision for me. What started as a dream of a lonely second grader evolved into a dream of a young mom. Now the fulfilled dream of a bonafide senior citizen has come to closure. My emotional state has been at a high plateau and I’d like to keep it there.
Of course not everything is rosy. My body is quite angry at me. All the lifting and moving of boxes, books, lab materials, etc. has taken a toll on my physical well being. The constant walking all over campus has heightened my pain levels. The constant hours and hours of being on my feet has brought me to tears. The desire, no need, to leave everything just so has meant that I have overworked myself. I have put myself in to a flare. I have resisted the screaming aches and pains that desire strong medication. While emotionally I strive for 10s, I’d be ever so grateful if my weary body never saw those numbers.
So tomorrow when I awake as a retired woman, I will do my best to keep those emotional 10s and to avoid the physical pain level 9s and 10s. I will work those numbers to make my retirement happy and less painful. I won’t be under a time constraint to get everything done. I will allow my body to rest and heal as necessary. I deserve it. After all, I an now a happily retired lady.